a month in review - july

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another month down! it's insane how fast this summer (and year) is going by. july was a blur, and i'm not entirely sure why because it wasn't an overly busy month for me. i guess that isn't entirely true because work has been very busy, and there were a few weekend activities that are worth noting, one of which has led me to realize that i need to change a few things in my life. 

obviously, independence day kicked off the month, but cian and i didn't do much of anything. he had to work, and it was also extremely hot and humid here in boston so i was content with staying inside in the wonderfully cool air conditioning. i know that's super lame, but it just is what it is! after being in plymouth the weekend before, i was due for some rest and relaxation before i headed back to work the next day, and to rest up for the upcoming weekend.

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that's when we celebrated my oldest sister danielle's 30th birthday. her actual birthday wasn't until the 19th of the month, but my other sister kristen and i planned a surprise weekend in boston with our cousins and danielle's closest friends. unfortunately, one of my aunts kind of ruined the surprise about a month earlier, but we still had a great time celebrating. they arrived on saturday at the seaport hotel where we were all staying that night and we waited for the whole group to arrive before heading to the lawn on d for some sunshine and drinks. then, we headed to lolita for a mojito and snacks before walking back to the hotel to get ready for dinner. if you love greek food as much as i do, you have to check out committee in the seaport if you find yourself in boston. it was delicious! and a great place to share food with a larger group - there was 10 of us total. the rest of the night was spent dancing, sipping on cocktails, and just celebrating the birthday girl who we all love and adore so much.

the remainder of the month was quiet for the most part. we did win a new piece of business at work that i got assigned to, so that kept me busy during most days. cian and i also went on a weekend getaway to narragansett to celebrate his birthday with a group of his friends. this was when i realized that i have some work to do to focus on who i am and what i've been doing wrong. this trip had been planned for about a month and i was super excited to go. it was mostly guys, all of them i know pretty well and are always fun to be around. i also invited my old roomies so i could have some girls around and spend time with them because that doesn't happen all that often these days. anyway, long story short, the weekend fell flat for me and was disappointing to be completely honest. i think it was just the wrong group of people to have all together, which kind of put a damper on things. we still had some fun of course, especially the day we spent on the beach from 11 - 4, but i guess my expectations where just so different, that it was hard not to be disappointed. 

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what i realized after that weekend was that i'm entering into a new phase of my life. i'm noticing that i'm drifting away from certain people because i am just in a different place than they are. and that's for multiple reasons, like my job, my education, my relationship, etc. i think i've matured a lot in the last year and i hadn't notice it setting me apart from my friends until now. cian and i had a long talk when we got back home to cambridge, and we were completely on the same page. it was actually a very emotional conversation because i struggled to admit that i've strayed away from me. i've been acting like a different person, and by talking through it, i know the exact reasons why. so i decided i'm going to change those things that are distracting me and negatively impacting my life. there have been a lot of changes recently that have had negative impacts, that i didn't necessarily pick up on, but sure am aware of now. i'm choosing to remind myself daily of something one of my favorite wellness bloggers said: "repel people who make me feel bad about myself. simple as that. there's no need to keep that energy around. i'd rather be pretty smart, pretty kind, pretty funny, and pretty frickin' strong!" to keep things very simple - i'm reminding myself to just be me

i've taken these last two weeks of the month to really reflect on my values, beliefs, aspirations and desires, and it's felt so good. i feel a fresh season about to bloom, and i'm welcoming it with open arms fully and willingly. 

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